Goodbye Time (Long But Good) by ♥│ЯΛŽỠŔâ-¬Å?á» â"¥á»„│♥
Cried to myself a million times
just sitting here wondering why
Is that a crime-do you want a f.u.c.k.i.n.g. dime
for everything you missed-did you want me to die?
It sure seemed that way
everyday f.u.c.k.i.n.g. day I spent in strife
You never cared what I had to say
So I took it in my own hands-I turned to the knife
Day after day
Blade after blade
All I ever wanted to do was slay
everything that you ever made
My pain seemed to fade away
with every layer of skin I did break
End my life-I just may
but is that the step I want to take?
Looking down at the blood I see
my life seeping away like an infection from a wound
Now I can only hope you can finally see me
The pain you caused-the emotions ballooned
So tonight I have decided
that I should die
The emotions of yours-they have indeed guided
the barrel of the gun-I do silently sigh
So goodbye and just please go
leave me alone-my fate is my own
This is your chance-please don't deny me-don't say no
My confidence has grown
So I end my life
with no more then a simple note
My life is to an end-I have no more strife
This is what I wrote:
"Dear Mom and Dad,
I'm sorry that I had to go
I didn't want to but I had
to go-staying here was a definite no
I'm sorry that I wasn't perfect
I don't see how I could have been
I know that you didn't select
to you I was the biggest sin
But no longer will you have to worry
because no longer will I be here
Thank you for being my parents-I'm sorry
but no longer will I have anything to fear
Just know that you aren't the reason
that I did what I did
I just thought I'd be pleasin'
everyone else-to them my life was just a bid
Goodbye and I'm sorry for everything
that I ever did do
but to you I no longer cling
Sincerely yours, the person you hardly knew."
I look at the letter I just wrote
wondering if I said everything I needed to
So deciding I had-I took that gun from the tote
and thought of what you'd do
Tears streaming from my eyes
as I silently look around me
I thought of all my lies
thought of the person I pretended to be
This is something I knew
must be done
No looking back on you
I knew you'd be better off-with not one more pun
"Just do it and don't be chicken
You need to die
Think back to all the people you did sicken
Someone better at this would be a guy!"
Indecision playing in my head
creating another personality
I gently lay down on my bed
the gun to my temple-this is how it had to be
Hands shaking badly
my sudden fear coming to life
but as I knew this is how sadly
it had to end now-I could no longer live in strife
Taking my last breathe
and taking my last swallow
My pointer finger pulled that trigger
my blood I was left to die in-my decision I did follow
© Jennifer Quinn
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