Today I Got Something In The Mail by Annabelle
Dark Humor Ahoy!
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Today in the mailbox there was something for me
The mailman delivered it sometime after three
It was an exciting moment finding it there
Hidden behind coupons and bills of despair.
Wrapped in an envelope decorated in ink that was green
I was surprised how many stamps were on it - In my opinion it was quite lean
There was no return address
Which caused quite a stress
So I hesitated a moment I honestly must confess
Today in this world mail isn't quite safe
With anthrax and other things that make your skin chafe
I thought of the precautions that I might have to take
And even considered forgetting it for cookies I could bake
Though I was worried with the threats that could be inside
My curiosity was so strong if I didn't open it I thought I might die
I bravely put on rubber gloves from the kitchen sink
And took a few sniffs of the envelop just in case there was a stink
When I didn't pass out I proceeded to open
The voice in my head convinced there should be some sort of token
To my surprise and much despair
There was nothing, I say nothing in that envelope there
No letter with words from a relative from a far
No invisible leprechaun there so I could wish for a car
The package was empty and it left me in a daze
And even more so when I started seeing a sort of yellow haze
There were red spots on my wall, on my ceiling, and on my skin
And I cursed my curiosity for wanting to open the damn thing then
Just because I couldn't see it doesn't mean it wasn't there
And I must admit, not seeing the bio-chemical certainly isn't very fair.
It'll be a while until anyone notices I'm gone
The only time my neighbor visits is when I make homemade flan.
This of course is reason for me to say "humph"
I only make flan on the first of the month
Today in the mailbox there was something for me
The mailman delivered it sometime after three
I proceeded to open it and around three forty five
I'd come to the conclusion that because of it I had died.
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