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My Desire For Pleasure , Funny Poems

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My Desire For Pleasure by Lifes_curse

You thought life was the bi**h, and then you met me,
a cold hearted cow who thinks of me me me!
My desire for pleasure had you on your knees.
Your wages and savings I frittered with ease.
I came to your place and forgot to go home,
from my flat to your flat possessions did roam.
Your shirts and your boxers became unisex,
sadly you wondered just what I'd take next.
I brought home some paint cards with swatches to match
you muttered some swear words I could not quite catch.
So I figured that you weren't the DIY type,
and picked out the curtains in pink and white stripe.
I hid and I hoarded our new look away
till I found that work called for an overnight stay.
The minute the door slammed I started my task,
I knew you'd be pleased, there was no need to ask.

Halfway through the Sunday I stood back in awe.
My pink and white vision, a vision no more,
and the walls and the paintwork all matched (to my glee)
the curtains and cushions and pink striped settee.
I started on dinner, my man due home soon,
I was sure that my vision would cause him to swoon.
He'd be grateful forever and dole out more cash,
my dream of our future ended with a crash.
He swayed through the door with an air of the free

and focused his gaze of pure hatred on me.
I want you to leave, you have no right to be here,
I didn't invite you on that fact I'm clear.
I should not have left it this long, and I'm sore
that my life went downhill when you walked through MY door
I gasped and I spluttered, then sank in defeat
and vowed that I'd leave before he found his treat.
He was sure to feel bad and get straight on the phone
and beg, plead and grovel until I came home.
The door banged behind me, good riddance, he cried.
I could tell that our love affair had truly died.

I was out in the street when a pink vase hit floor,
and I knew that this vase would be followed by more.
You nutter, he screeched, you have ruined my flat.
Which was followed by a three foot high pink pot cat.
At least this pink eyesore did not cost me money,
for once it's your pocket, and I find THAT funny!
I stopped in my tracks, and turned with a smirk,
and said it's a shame you don't like my hard work.
But I am no fool, you great lump of lard.
I put the whole lot on your gold master card!

*I've just re-posted this poem vote and comment if u feel like it = ) *

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