Wanting To, Wishing For by One Lifetime, One Love

Wanting to say so much, yet, not a thing is said
Unsure of what will happen, wishing I knew the thoughts in my head
Feeling sick, cautious, as if I walk on eggshells
The beautiful sounds from the heavens have now turned into cracked bells
Wanting to know what I am supposed to do, say, and how much I am to give away
He looks at me, with that gentle smile on his face
I go weak at the knees yet, still stand strong and with grace
Wishing I could tell him every thought in my head, of how much I want us to be
The thoughts should not be there, how I want those thoughts to not see
I feel his gaze, like he is seeing right though the "I do not feel good" act
Knowing it is him, that makes me like this, that takes my smile away and my cheerfulness lack
There cannot be an us, this I know, because once there is, then he is just going to go away
His eyes say "Yes, love me, I am still here" my eyes say "What is the point my friend, you will just leave me as a memory, you know this is true, as I say"
As I wander in the clouds above, the sky is as blue as his eyes, I look for the answer to my quest
Not sure if I can handle this, though I must try my best
The friends I love dearly all say that he loves me, this cannot be, he cannot fall in love
Wishing he could see it in my eyes, how unhappy the thought of losing him makes me, and the tears are lack there of
Being strong, yet not knowing how
A smile on my face is the only expression I will allow