I Know Its Not You by Ali Uhter
I started preschool today
And everyone looked at me in a weird way.
I asked them why,
I was so out of place.
I wish you could have seen
The confused look free-sketched on their face.
Mom, I promise you
I told the story
But they know its not true,
They saw past the 'bike accident'
They know its not what I meant.
My cuts are too big
My bruises too dark
Its like I was attacked
Hit like a fish by a hungry shark.
This habit of yours
Is tearing me apart.
Wish you would stop your drinking
And use your loving heart.
Use your sober mind
And try your sweet thinking
I'm scared to come home
Not wanting to find
The beast you are
When you drink it with foam.
Too much is bad for me
And a little
Is never enough for you.
When will you see
That these dazed things you remember
From that night you hurt me
Really are true
And when will you accept it?
Please bring it to a quit.
You're my loving mommy
I know that you are
Just that stuff makes you change
Scaring me as I cry myself to sleep
Lying in pain from your storm.
A storm not of rain.
I'll cry myself to sleep again I know
Just let something change
And let it show.
I love you Mommy
And hope you love me too.
Please love me back
Without all the pain
Or any of the sad blood stains.
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