Dad by Amanda S. Martin
DAD
How are you doing?
I'm doing fine.
I thought that I leaving would give you a sign.
But I guess I don't matter,
I guess you don't care.
It's obvious your love is just too hard to share.
You think that I am gone
Because you sent me away
But I am really gone because you drink everyday
Drinking brings anger
And anger brings pain
And the pain would make heartache in every vain
I'm not saying you evil
I'm not saying your bad
I just thought you would realize that you lost what you had
But enough about you
Let's talk about me
Did you know I was angry? Could that you not see?
Depression is sickness
And sickness I had
I lost my mom to drugs and alcohol stole my dad
No matter how hard I tried
It just wasn't enough
I struggled to pull through though it was tough
Abuse is not just physical
It's emotional too
So when I called you abusive it was only true
You gave me bruises
The worst ones of all
The ones that all my walls crumble and fall
I know I'm not perfect
But neither are you
We both made mistakes and that is very true
But at least I tried
At least I had hope
At lest I didn't drink just to help me cope
You would get to many problems
Then go the bar
And the next day you would tell me how sorry you are
But sorry's don't work
No matter how hard you try
A thousand sorry's can't fix all the tears I would cry
When you were drinking
With anger inside
You would say such mean things and that's why I cried
You would say that you hate me
You would call me a whore
Then you'd slap me and push right out the front door
You and that angel
Slept snug in your bed
While I slept in the cold just for something I said
I always came last
Out of us two girls
I was the rock and she was the pearl
There were great times
When we would laugh and have fun
The times by the pool under the bright shining sun
But those times got more rare
Everyday
Until they had vanished and completely wasted away
Since I am trying to get better
I thought you would too
But its obvious alcohol means too much to you
You don't call to often
Long distance isn't free
But when I did call you, you hung up on me
I don't care if you were sad
But I'm your damn kid
You shouldn't have gone and done what you did
After that phone call
I started to cry
I cried until my sad eyes ran dry
And when they were dry
I cried from inside
My pain was too big and too hard to hide
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